Tick Tick Boom: 2018 in Review

2018 has brought many a surprise to the managers in the worlds greatest league, however before we turn our attention to the 2018/19 season, some unfinished business from the inaugural 17/18 season:

In May huddled around a mammoth screen in Horsham the 17/18 season drew to a close, with the Red Imps drawing the final blood of the season delivering yet another win. Argyle’s Revenge finished as league runners-up with Jamones & TTB rounding out the European places.

The TBC was handed to celebrity lookalike manager Mr J Bines by previous champion Phil Ellis:

Bines claimed that he looked forward to the following season and that receiving the cup from his longtime adversary made victory all the sweeter.

2018/19 So Far…

The second season of the worlds greatest league kicked off on the 6th August with many of the managers gathered together in the host city of Brighton. A palpable tension rose around the table as tactics were discussed, Leroy Fer was lauded as the likely overall number 1 pick, and Greg went to find the now infamous Perez/Pickford Barmaid. Finally, the time came, the lottery balls clattered around the machine, the fate of the eight held in its hand. Everyone wanted the coveted first spot and a shot at Leroy Salah, agonisingly slow the computer ran its alogrithm before the draft order was spat out with big Raf leading the way. Second and second slipped past- surely he wasn’t at the bar again?? But the biggest shock of the evening was the Raf managed to secure Salah at the number one spot, with the first round looking somewhat predictable:

Remember everyone- that number 8 pick is a real disadvantage, especially when you pick the second highest scoring player in the league… 

Draft ‘Awards’:

• Most successful player drafted (to date): Raf & Mo Salah at Number 1 overall
• Worst player drafted: Joey & Bolasie in the 7th round
• Late Round Steal: Tom & Felipe Anderson in Round 10 (103 points to date)
• Late Round Fail: John & Courtois in the 13th round

 

Stories of the Season

Alisson Lee

Miller shows off his liquid luck

The unlikely leader at the turn of the year is Alisson Lee, whose manager Tom Miller (pictured above) has had the rub of the green, the bounce of the ball and any other lucky idiom you wish to pick. With 12 wins, and perhaps pivotally 2 draws, the Alisson Lee team lead the pack with only the 6th highest points haul.

It is, however, the sign of a champion to win when you aren’t playing well and having recently recruited top goalscorer Aubamayang and readying the now unshackled Lukaku perhaps they are ready to start winning in style?

Mid-Season Report Card:

• Leauge Position: A+
• Points Scored: D
• Draft Team: B-
• Waivers & Free Agency: D (Felipe Anderson Waived out twice?!)
• Trades: B
• Overall: B

Red October

Not bad for last seasons relegation candidate

Last seasons basement dwellers, ironically rebranded from the rising Pheonix to Red October, have turned around their fortunes this season and are arguably unlucky not to be top of the league given how poorly the leaders have been at consistently putting up points.

Manager Andrew McMillan should be very proud of his drafted team with a strong core of 5 players still consistently putting up large numbers. Van Dijk, Mane, Richarlison & Mendy were all fantastic picks who have steered the Reds to a highly successful first half. “I’m just happy to be winning games” beamed McMillan in a recent interview with the blog, as he looks to guide his team forward in the new year. Surely a new striker or two will be high up their January Sales shopping list, but will any new signings fall to the high flying side?

Mid-Season Report Card:

• Leauge Position: A
• Points Scored: A
• Draft Team: B+
• Waivers & Free Agency: C
• Trades: B
• Overall: A

The Silva Lining

Spot Steve… 

Two very Silva linings have propelled Sales and his army of city players to joint second in the league with Bernardo & David accounting for some 17% of the teams total points scored. The team has proved a formidable opponent for all, having taken points off all teams in the league and matching the league leaders for wins.

Sales has proved a shrewd operator in the trade market, having picked up Shaquiri (twice), Firmino and Luiz in well timed deals. Joint favourite with Red October to overall Allison Lee in the second half of the season, can they live up to the hype or will trading away the cornerstone of their season see that Silva lining turn to a less palatable colour?

Mid-Season Report Card:

• Leauge Position: A
• Points Scored: A
• Draft Team: B
• Waivers & Free Agency: B-
• Trades: C (Trading a namesake is inexcusable in these parts)
• Overall: B+

Argyle’s Revenge

The Pilgrims have been blighted by bad luck this season, seeing a string of bad match-ups hold back their progress up the league, finding themselves 8 points behind the leaders but with a healthy gap to 5th.  Argyle’s manager has demonstrated an extraordinary ability to negotiate trades, securing Pogba, Sterling, De Bruyne, Eriksen, and Azpi via trades.

Argyle have set their sites on at least repeating their 2nd place of last season, but the 4th place side have respectable 12-1 odds to lift the trophy this season

Mid-Season Report Card:

• Leauge Position: C
• Points Scored: A+
• Draft Team:  C
• Waivers & Free Agency: B
• Trades: A
• Overall: C+

The Singing Penguins

Cochrane spotted on the streets of Brighton

As always, the Penguins have shown a propensity for trades and a bargain new player, however unusually, this time they have found some success. Having been involved in a record 8 trades, flipping players to improve their team the Penguins have established a team with a strong spine of players and a forward line full of potential.

Cochrane will be hopeful that he can forge a path to the champions league places, however, a 10 point gap is a daunting task especially for a team that currently holds several bit-part players.

Mid-Season Report Card:

• Leauge Position: C-
• Points Scored: D-
• Draft Team: C
• Waivers & Free Agency: C
• Trades: D
• Overall: D+

Tick Tick Boom

A tale of two trades… 

The 2016/17 Champion have fallen hard this year after being in contention for most of last season, TTB find themselves is 6th place in the league, hovering above the relegation places by the skin of their teeth. Despite a managerial change and a brand new mindset, the Dweck/Boaler/Ellis trifecta has been unsuccessful in bringing points back to the TTB fortress.

Assistant Manager Boaler

TTB have been playing catch up since game week 3, when the infamous Sterling / Mkhitarian trade was struck with Ellis’s sparring partner JNJ which with the benefit of hindsight was a bad one from Ellis, however he has redeemed himself in the eyes of his fans following the introduction of Eden Hazard to the side who has lit up the TTB midfield in recent weeks.

However, it would be a brave man to discount TTB from a late-season comeback especially with a coveted high pick in the January transfer waivers.

Mid-Season Report Card:

• Leauge Position: D-
• Points Scored: C-
• Draft Team: B
• Waivers & Free Agency: C
• Trades: D
• Overall: D+

The Mighty Impernels

8th Pick…

Given the curse of the 8th pick, it is impressive that the Imps have picked up a single point, however, a front line that is the envy of the league and a knack of adapting their team each week has allowed the Imps to keep fighting on.

However the champions have a big fight on their hands to deliver a successful season for their demanding fan base. Recently their manager Bines stated:

I reckon to win it, we would need to win 15 out of 19. 14 possibly. Games up, I think,

The defeatest nature of their manager will be a worry to some, but their championship pedigree makes Bines and his imps good value at 18-1. Can they too turn high waivers into draft gold? If any manager can it will be the king of the waiver!!

Mid-Season Report Card:

• Leauge Position: E
• Points Scored: D
• Draft Team: E+
• Waivers & Free Agency: C (To be honest there was too many for analysis)
• Trades: B
• Overall: D

los Jamones

Maybe the first pick does help!

It may be too simplistic to say that with Salah Los Jamones rises and falls, however, both have had an outstanding December (winning 4 of 5), which has seen Rafa guide his team to start to put up points and as a result has filled the hole that was dug for them at the start of the season.

With a disappointing start is now behind the beleaguered basement dwellers, surely Aguilar will guide his side to further success, buoyed by his captain extraordinaire for the legendary hams- the only way is up!

Mid-Season Report Card:

• Leauge Position: E
• Points Scored: E
• Draft Team:  C-
• Waivers & Free Agency: C
• Trades: D-
• Overall: E

 

Game Week 20 League Table

Gameweek 1: Argyle exact revenge on the champions

A new season, goals galore, shock win for league new boys, defensive deficiencies and transfer sagas, the opening weekend of the TTB league certainly echoed the Big League in more ways than one.

The most important league table of the season:

No analysis needed. Green Army!

Fall of the Champions

Argyle’s Revenge 60 – 41 Tick Tick Boom

Lukaku (2)                                                                    Aguero

Salah

As the champion tick tick boom’s first 11 strode onto the hallowed turf of Home Park, they were flanked by the Pilgrims guard of honour, full of confidence for the new season. Surely 3 points would be in the bag as they lined up against a side that started slowly the previous year and who did not have the winners pedigree.

However, rumours had been circling the TTB camp all summer, their star striker had been informed by Ellis that his services were no longer required – a new found faith in Jesus had Ellis convinced the star was no longer required. Furthermore, summer signings were arguably not of the quality to push the team forward as they fought on two fronts.

In the early going TTB were showing their pedigree, holding a slim lead over the Pilgrims- as the final game started, however, the 3rd overall pick, Lukaku,  stepped onto the pitch for Argyle and he bullied TTB’s back line into submission. Backed up by his Utd team mates Mata & Blind the game brought in 22pts for N-Js men, a mighty effort that ensured the 3 points returned to the Westcountry- leaving Ellis questioning his side:

“Fantasy football can do one” – P. Ellis

However, Ellis can take consolation that Sanchez should soon return from injury, to provide some supplementary scoring for his City heavy front line.

Argyle were delighted with their start to the season, sitting atop the league for the first time since the league conception.

Team lineups:

               

 

 

 

 

 

Will this picture be the one to celebrate the end of the season?

 

New boys kick off in style

RIP all you Mane’s!! 49 – 48 The Singing Penguins

Mane                                                                                                      Giroud

                                                                                                                           Alli

                                                                                                                     Pogba

 

If any image sums up the failure of the Penguins to secure points on the opening weekend it is this one:

After dominating in the goals category, despite having a front line consisting of Murray & Gale, Cochrane was let down badly by a rash tackle by Cahill who was sent off for a wild tackle just minues into the season. Cochrane was later fuming about how the points slipped away due to the defenders actions: “Cahill -3, That’s what got me!!!”.

Perhaps more worryingly for Penguins fans however was his solution to the problem: “So can we now make transfers!!!!”. Given their poor transfer policies of 2016/17 losing them the league, managers around the league were soon offering their worst players to the impulsive manager for rich returns.

Meanwhile the all new Mane unit had a quietly solid start to life in the TTB league, surely happy with their 3 points thanks to a stingy back line. However, will their reliance on players that start only inconsistently come back to haunt them in the long run?

Perez & Pickford Power Jamones Home

As Real los Jamones 59 – 30 Pheonix Flames

Firmino                                                                             Lacazette

Martial

 

How we all laughed- Perez in the first round, then Pickford. The “Jamones are destined for the basement” claimed the media after a disastrous start to the draft. Well, it turns out Rafa found some diamonds later in the draft, and with Pickford keeping a clean sheet it was a stellar first week for the Jamones side.

“How is possible someone that picked perez and picford his first choice is in second place this week :)!” – Rafa

Pheonix had a poor week, accentuated by Fabregas picking up a -1 & a stupid red card. Perhaps it will be time for Master Mackers to pull some mind tricks again to switch out the leaky defence.

Heroes have a go…

First overall pick, success was a slam dunk right?

Red impernels 47 – 18 have a go heroes

A new dawn on the south coast as the heroes were playing in the TTB for the first time after securing promotion. The pitch looked perfect, the crowd was vocal- surely they could pull off a season opening upset:

Ah- 18 points, well… err…

The heroes had a go and failed badly. Appalling defending and an over reliance on the outgoing champions left Miller in pieces on the sidelines. up against the experienced Red Imps outfit, who many are tipping for the title,

Up against the experienced Red Imps outfit, who many are tipping for the title, the heroes hung in valiantly but ultimately did not have the necessary tools to overcome the juggernaut Imps.

Miller will look to make changes for the next week- we are hearing multiple transfer rumours from the hero camp- time will tell.

Breaking Transfer News:

Transfers a plenty on the wire:

Jamones wave goodbye to Perez

Spurs find the checkbook and make 7 new signings

 

 

Bines delighted he got his man

Greg cries

 

Waived players after GW1: 

Batshuyi, sterling, llorente, walcott, klassen, azpilicueta, redmond, mirallas, rondon, yaya, baines, snodgrass, murray, williams, smalling, perez(!) (credit to P.Ellis)

 

Gameweek 2 Preview

Last seasons top 2 will fight it out in the early kick off as Bines and Ellis come head to head for the first time since the cup was lifted last year. Can Ellis get some points on the board, or will the Imps superior transfers be the difference?

Big Raf will then take Real to the south coast to continue their strong start, hoping that Miller fails to deliver with his new signings. At the same time Sales and Mackers will then look to improve after relatively weak starts to the year.

Finally the Penguins and Pilgrims will face off- can the Penguins survive their suspensions to take down the early league leaders? Or will the pilgrims extend their lead at the top of the table- it should be a fascinating gameweek for all to enjoy.

 

Welcome to Tick Tick Boom 2017/18

It’s back- the Tick Tick Boom Cup has returned, a new format, new teams but still as hotly contested as ever.

However, before we look to the new season it is only right to congratulate the winner of last season, the cups namesake Tick Tick Boom:

Ellis celebrating the first ever TTB cup presentation

2016/17 Season Awards:

• League Winner: P. Ellis                                                                                   
• Wooden Spoon: J.Bines / G. Cochrane for their crying penguins
• Most Transfers: G. Cochrane (which was won solely on week 1 transfers I think)                                                                                 
• Mind trick Master: Mackers                                    
• Player of the Season: Leroy Fer

 

Draft Night

After weeks of anticipation, painstaking watch list management, planning (for most), and tactics being drawn up- draft night was finally here. Brighton had been selected to host the draft weeks before and as the 7pm deadline drew closer delegates from Tick Tick Boom, Does it even Mata, Pheonix Flames and Have a go Heroes all gathered at the vast draft table, while 3 others logged in from the most exotic corners of the globe, epitomised by the presence of the Penguins seeking their spiritual home of Hull for the draft.

One remained, however, the clock ticked down past 5 and Big Raf was still missing- confidence? mind games? laid back latin timing? Who knew? However, los Jamones made it to the draft table with literally seconds to spare- what is the best way to prepare though? Head to the bar for a pint- naturally… would that be a defining decision for Real Ham though? We shall see…

Cochranes fan club packed out the prestigious Hull venue

JPNJ finds Cochranes transfer plans for the season

7pm: Draft Order & First 9 Picks

An agonising wait followed 7pm- “Now What?” asked Cochrane as the random generators established the draft order:

1. Tom
2. Andrew
3. Joey
4. Steve
5. Phil
6. Greg
7. John
8. Raf

With the draft order set, silence spread throughout the draft room, who would Miller pick first overall? There was no surprise however as the lifetime Spurs fan picked the number 1 ranked Harry Kane, last seasons number 1 point getter- but will the oft-injured, slow starting striker be the difference for the heroes this season? Kane is just a one hit wonder after all…..

The rest of the first round passed largely without shock or surprise, although eyebrows were raised at Mane going 4th overall, some 10 spots higher than projected by central scouting. But the biggest surprise was to be saved for the 8th pick, big Rafa was still not back at the draft table when the 8th overall pick was to be selected and the draft room waited in anticipation to see what selection was to be made, a host of top players were

But the biggest surprise was to be saved for the 8th pick, big Rafa was still not back at the draft table when the 8th overall pick was to be selected and the draft room waited in anticipation to see what selection was to be made, a host of top players were still available including Hazard, Sanchez, De Bruyne and well, pretty much every player in the league. So naturally the 8th pick was… well….

AYOZE PEREZ!!

8th Overall Pick:

Raf welcomes new signing at the Jamones training ground

Talk about going off the board! The 24 year old Spaniard has 13 EPL goals to his name (over 2 seasons), and Raf was clearly… ‘over the moon’ at his selection:

“He was the only one left on my watchlist… Morata, Lukaku, all the other good players were gone, so he was the best choice for me… I don’t know, she (the barmaid) was talking to me.. I panicked…”

Raf- Jamones Manager

Perez climbed 181 positions to reach into the first round, if eyebrows were raised at Manes selection…. a photo taken shortly after the selection is shown below:

But Rafa wasn’t done there….. still a plethora of talent was available as he lined up the 9th pick, surely sanity would prevail.

9th Overall Pick:

No… not Zlatan… but rather Jordan Pickford, the ‘keeper who last year conceded [almost] more goals (50) than Greg made transfers [2,000,000].

Again- Raf was out to support his pick “I didn’t mean to pick him, it must of just been when I double tapped on Perez…”

Raf winning at the draft

Key picks:

The remainder of the draft passed largely without further shocks, however the following picks were surprises:

• Hazard (5) & Sanchez (2) falling all the way to 19th & 21st claimed by JNJ & PE in the 3rd round
• The bold selection of likely Barcelona bound Coutinho in the 5th round by the Penguins, who are now left clinging to reports such as this from the BBC
• Mackers picking up more defensive midfielders than Mourinho with Dier (220) & Matic (205). Solid
• Miller tying his defensive future to Antonio Conte, selecting almost the entire Chelsea back line
• Steve selecting ‘never saved a shot’ Bravo in the final rounds
• Solanke being selected at all (Raf’s post draft quote: “he’s that good spanish player right?”….)
• Vardy being selected by the non-league specialist Bines in the 3rd round, surely those goals have dried up now?

Post draft Quotes:

Tick Tick Boom: “Happy with that- beware the Man City goal alert now”

Does it even Mata: “Satisfied with our picks- a few project picks that will take time to come to fruition, but looking forward to seeing our exciting attacking talent driving us forward”

The Red Impernels: “Wanted a 3rd City attacker and hoped to get Sandro under the radar. Delighted to have 3 united defenders – Matic is going to make them so mean.”

All Dwight on the Night: A bullish Sales already seems to have identified the weak links in the league:  “I play Greg thus weekend and he has the injured team. Surely a win”

Have a go Heroes: “KANE”

AS Real Los Jamones: “So how do transfers work?”

Pheonix Flames: “Very happy- Lacazette is going to be top goalscorer this year”

The Singing Penguins: “Phill how the fuck have you done that”, “I love my midfield”, and finally “my misses is saying I have to talk to her”

 

Fixtures:

Some exciting matches in the first weekend, with the promoted sides having different fortunes: Dwight on the Night facing last seasons wooden spoon winners at home, while Have a go Heroes face the daunting task of an away match at the 2016/17 runners up.

Elsewhere the heavyweights of 1st & 3rd face off, each with fantasy darlings injured on the bench- presumably with JPNJ hoping for Man City to draw a blank at Brighton. The final matchup pits Ayoze Perez & crew agains the defensive Pheonix Flames, an interesting contest to be sure (although probably a 0-0 draw).

Let the games begin:

Good luck to all, 38 gameweeks, 9 months are all that seperate you from getting your hands on this beauty:

 

 

A very delayed Christmas Update

Tick Tick Boom Blog Back, World goes Crazy

The queue to get the next installment of JPNJ’s blog was a little intense

So, the last football has been kicked in fury in the Premier League before a fat man tumbles down our collective chimneys to deposit the gift of Boxing Day football.

It has been a few too many weeks since the infamous TTB update has taken place, and as such some housekeeping is required:

NOVEMBER MANAGER OF THE MONTH: 

He’s only gone and done it, not since the 1950’s has the Vietnamese had such recognition on an international stage. Two months in a row Busted Sofa have set the pace for TTB, only time will tell whether Johnston and his side can continue their assault up the table.

Johnston took a break from paddy fields to accept the coveted MotM award

 CHRISTMAS CLASSICO

In an attempt to win some ‘Silver Wear‘ the submerged Penguins promoted a side league to run from GW13 – GW19.  5 teams entered, with Bines electing not to enter as the cup might distract from his new tactics of not scoring points as a part of a ‘bigger plan’ (which I’m sure was trademarked by the Pens earlier in the season- but I digress).

5 teams entered, with Bines electing not to enter as the cup might distract from his new tactics of not scoring points as a part of a ‘bigger plan’ (which I’m sure was trademarked by the Pens earlier in the season- but I digress), and Mackers Masters missing the deadline.

So far the cup has been a relative success for sponsor Cochrane, but when relative to the Penguins league performance to date, that isn’t saying much. Instead, the resurgent Pilgrims are topping the festivities thanks to Shrewd decision making and a mammoth GW 14.

But, who will have last Ho Ho Ho? With only two rounds remaining and 41 points separating top and bottom this league is wide open for a surprise bigger than the year Greg finally got the Barbie doll he’d been wishing for from Santa.

TICK TICK BOOM: LEAGUE UPDATE

Finally, the main event

Finally, the main event, the performance review you have all been waiting for, the main league update.

Tick Tick Boom, still leading the way

The league leader at Christmas in the Premier League is normally top come the end of the season. Can TTB emulate those successes? Or will they fall away?

TTBB caught up with their manager to discuss being top at Christmas, Eastern money, Chip tactics and the Christmas Classico:

TTBB: So, thank you for speaking with the Blog today. Given the historical importance of being top at Christmas, you must be feeling pretty confident of success this season?

PE: I’m always confident but certainly yes, to be top at Christmas is a good feeling

TTBB: We have all seen the Vietnamese threat in the league, are you concerned about new powers coming over from the east and disrupting your team in the January Transfer Market?

PE: No

TTBB: Care to elaborate on that sentiment?

PE: It might be an hanoiance for lesser-experience managers, but pho me? No.

TTBB: We have seen a lot of Chips being played in the last few weeks, but TTB have held their nerve. Do you feel that Chips will hold an important role in securing the title in 2017?

PE: personally, i’d like to see rid of all the chips. I see no value whatsoever in the all-out-attack chip. What is it even there for? It has the same effect of a team being entered by Greg Lance (is that his real name?), i.e pointless. Pointless being something that Greg’s teams know a lot about.  What was the question? Yes, yes they will.

TTBB: Finally, your form has dropped off in the Classico Cup- do you feel you have what it takes to claim the festive crown?

PE: Let’s be honest, that cup was created for and cared for by teams that have no chance of winning the main prize. It’s the Johnstons paint trophy to the Champions League. All the same, good luck to those that have entered.

TTBB: Any final comments?

PE: like to say a final word for The Red Limpernals, Pelaton.

Busted Sofa, on a tear

Busted Sofa must know that the DFS sale is due to start on Boxing Day, that or the Goi Cuon is truly the food of champions.

Time for a new sofa? Not on Terry’s watch

The Busted Sofa side has had an amazing few weeks, pushing to second in the league, closing a once unassailable league lead to only 19 points. Supported by a vast Vietnamese hedge fund, the international outfiit are sure to be looking to sign a raft of big names to push them over the line.

Can Johnston claim a hatrick of MotM titles and secure top spot for New Years?

Red Imps free-falling

A picture is worth a thousand words

Need I say more? The Red Imps are only saved from being bottom of the December rankings by an injury-depleted Masters, hardly cause for celebration.

The secrecy that surrounded the grand tactic of ‘fielding some Arsenal players that one time’ hasn’t helped the Imps as they look to find their way back up the table. Nervously glancing back at Argyle & Jamones charging up the table- the Red Imps will have an uncomfortable Christmas- you heard it here first.

Jamones hanging on

Los Jamones wrestled 4th spot back from Argyles revenge this game week, but will premature chip-ulation have hurt Jamones long-term chances of league success?

Did Jamones blow their bonus points too early?

Rafa has posted all 4 chips for the season already, while the 10 additional points from Bench Boost ultimately pushed Spanish Ham back into the Champions League positions this week, the 9 point return from Hazard will have hurt.

Despite the underlying concerns for the future, Jamones have managed to be in the top two for December and are progressing well in the Classico Cup, to the point that Aguilar professed an almost perfect week:

“I am happy with this week just wished llalana had scored and would have been perfect”

Strong December move Argyle into Relevancy

What an amazing few weeks for Argyle, who finally managed to make pickups as players hit form, with Zlatan, Costa and Sanchez all coming good over the last few weeks.

A stable team has helped Neale-Jennings steer his side up the league, only 4 transfers since GW 13 and none in 3 weeks has seen Argyle’s team value and ranking rise dramatically- as they have risen  800,000 overall ranking spots, and on leading the battle for TTB December Manager of the Month.

The Revenge will be dreaming of a Green and White Christmas, but can they manage to finally lift some silverware of their own again?

Penguins, still addicted to the hard stuff

A new dawn we heard, a new strategy, “I’ll hold off making a transfer for the whole week”….

That worked then

I’m going back to my original plan of making transfers!!!

G. Cochrane

Penguins Manager

I was going to put in a screen shot of all of the Penguins transfers here, but I couldn’t fit them all on one screen!

However, despite his best attempts to prevent it, Cochrane has managed to steer his team to a level of consistent positive performances over the past few weeks, good for 3rd in the December points race and Christmas Classico.

Mackers Masterclass ends in injury

The masters were finally having some excellent success with differential picks, but since the injury and suspensions bug bit deep the masterclass has been put on hold. An enforced 4-5-1 formation in GW17 has hurt the Masters, who must now be looking to January and the new start given by a wildcard with glee and anticipation.

No matter how bad it looks for Mackers though, they can live in comfort that the Singing Penguins will continue to make the wooden spoon race an interesting one.

Crazy Predictions Time: 

1. Singing Penguins will make less than 50 transfers in 2017
2. Mackers will be top scorer in January after an inspired Wildcard
3. Jamones transfer in someone in January, a day before they sign in China
4. Red Imps grand plan results in the first 100 point Game week score in the league
5. Terry buys an actual new sofa, made in Vietnam, and petitions to have team name changed
6. Tick Tick Boom transfers in a player bought from Norwich in the January Transfer Window
7. Argyle make it to top of the table in 2017, but fail to finish in the top 3 come end of season

Game Week 12:

Penguins new recruits storm to GW win  cost GW lead

 

Penguins on Song

The Penguins finally achieved the top of table success they have been striving for, only for their reckless transfer policy to see them weighed down to the bottom of the table by a 16-point sized anchor.

It looked like Cochrane had realised the error of his ways as he reflected on his transfers:

“I really need to stop making transfers…. I think that is letting me down.”

Penguins Transfers keep on rolling in

However, the penguins already have paperwork pending on two more fresh recruits- reporters caught Cochrane trying to find his fix:

But don’t worry folks- it’s all “PART OF A BIGGER PLAN”

 

Transfer Adjusted GW Results:

So, once you adjust this game week points total, there was only 5 points separating all 7 teams- the closest totals to date!

Tick Tick Boom, AS Los Jamones, Mackers Masters,  Singing Penguins: 38

Red Imps, Argyles Revenge: 35

Busted Sofa: 33
That said, I think we can all agree- it was a poor GW all round. When this guy is scoring two goals, we are all screwed (especially Greg as he has to transfer him in now):

 

 

Argyle (finally) get their Revenge & October Manager of the Month

Game Week 10 Overall Table:

Normal Service Resumed

Argyle take Revenge in style

Rising like a phoenix from the Ashes, dominating all who stood before them, Argyle delivered a well-timed ass-pasting to the group, nearly breaking the 100 point barrier in an attacking master class. (Incidentally, my favourite Plymouth related story is Phoenix themed, read here)

A jubilant Neale-Jennings was interviewed by the blog: 

TTBB: Thank you for your time today Joey, you must be ecstatic with this week

JNJ: I’m so proud of the team, from one to eleven we were magnificent this weekend and everyone delivered what was expected. It was reminiscent of the performances seen from our 03/04 championship squad.

TTBB: High praise indeed, so are you looking to emulate their table topping perfomance? What is the target for your team now?

JNJ: We are just taking one Gameweek at a time, I won’t let the lads look at the table- we have to make sure we excel every week.

TTBB: Finally, who do you see as your greatest threat in the League?

JNJ: (Laughing) Well, so long as the Penguins keep making transfers I think we are safe there, but you have to have respect for Tick Tick Boom & the Red Imps, also Busted Sofa pushed us really hard this week- we are going to have to be our best to succeed.

Who can stop the rise of Argyle? Real Jamones better home that Argyle don’t turn them into roasted Hams next week.

Red Imps roar back

After declaring ‘I hate Football’ just 7 days previously, Bines was singing from a different Hymn sheet as he watched his Imps turn in a stonking 94 point Haul, driven forward by captain extraordinaire Aguerooooo.

When asked what was the secret to their success, Bines simply stated, “A certain mindset I reckon”. Amazing confidence from the ultimate bounce back team, no doubt the Red Imps manager will be hoping for a smoother ride over the next few weeks.

TTB & Jamones score solidly

Most weeks, these two would be top of the GW, but fate conspired against them as they slid into 4th & 5th instead.

Jesus. Costa goal with hazard assist. All the points made yesterday now worthless –

A rueful Ellis reflects after seeing lead slip away on Sunday

Masters Infamous GW10 Rant

 I need to ask you all a question about this game – where is the skill in just picking Aguero – Sanchez – Costa – Lukaku – Hazard – plus a few other players ?  These are the best players so will score regular points.   To me, the skill in this game would be to identify those next level players who we each think will come into form at some point, and this would show our skill at working out who these players are and how to acquire points ?  Or is this just about picking Aguero – Sanchez – Costa ?

In a week where Mackers Masters only managed 36, just over a third of some of their rivals, their Manager took a play out of the Jose Mourinho playbook with a long tirade on the games organisation. While many valid points were raised, it brought back many memories:

 

Mackers Spirit Animal

 

Singing Sinking Penguins take a dive 

Oh, how hard is the bite of Karma? At about 17:30 on Saturday Cochrane could be seen lording over Norwich, arms aloft  celebrating a 5-0 victory at Brighton combined with a captained Aguero’s brace. Prematurely celebrating their October Manager of the Month.

48 hours later a stunned Cochrane was shocked to hear the penguins had sunk all the way to the foot of the table, “No really!?” came the reply when this was pointed out to him.

67 Points was only good enough to beat the sliding Masters on the week, as surging Argyle leapfrogged the pair.

What can the Penguins do to improve their results?

Perhaps this will be their answer:

October Manager of the Month

Going into the final round of fixtures for October there were 2 breakaway leaders, The Sinking Penguins and Mackers Masters. Both managers were confident of their chances- did they make it, or did Karma catch up to the fair-weather Brighton supporting Cochrane?

So, without further delay, the moment you have all been waiting for…….

Okay a little wait- here is the main man:

Everyone’s favourite Vietnamese-Irish Manager & Busted Sofa have only gone and done it!

An inspired, Argyle Matching, 96 points in the final week of the month lifted Johnston to the coveted Manager of the Month award! That effort ensured a 12 point cushion at the top of the monthly table.

 

 

Congrats to Terry and the Busted Sofa team, who now turn their attention to climbing the summit of the overall table.

GW9: Mackers March on, Jamones lead the way & Argyle Shamed

GW9 Dream Team: 

This week’s dream team makes disappointing reading for the entire league- number of TTB teams represented here…..? ZERO, Nada….

GW9 Dream Team

Premier League Stats of the Week:

• Plymouth Argyle have equaled Sunderland’s Premier League Wins for the season #winning
• Jack Wilshere completed 90 Premier League minutes for the first time in 771 days #consistent.
• In that time:
  • Sergio Aguero has found the net 52 times
  • Ozil has created 227 scoring chances
  • Leeds have had 5 Managers
  • Greg has made 771 Fantasy Football Transfers

Our Game Week9 Leader is…….

LOS JAMONES! 

Well…. who knew that Gomes, McAuley & Vokes would be a winning combination this week? Big Raf- that’s who- he was all over the differential picks, and all in defiance of predictions of a long injury list harming their efforts- amazing stuff.

The tight-lippeded Jamones manager gave little away about the reason for success for the week, simply stating “Voke was a good option for me” as he walked smugly off in to the sunset.

“Voke was a good option for me”- A smug Big Raf

 

Mackers Masters March On

Consistency has been the name of the game for the Masters, who slipped into the Champions League Spots with little fanfare. Stating “I am starting to like the look of our table now!!!”

The Mackers Manager is clearly confident of their chances moving forward, breaking out the mind tricks:

These are not the droids you are looking for

“Does Phil know that both Lukaku and Aguero got injured this weekend? And That Sanchez and Firmino are being dropped next round, Walker and McAuley have put in transfer requests?” – Obi Wan ‘Mack’obi

 

Tick Tick Boom get a spark

After a poor game week Ellis ensured his team were back on track to maintain their lead at the top, saved by a strong rearguard:

More solid than citing a joint paper from Dweck & Boaler (Dweck, 2012)

Presumably, the 0-0 he took in up north this weekend helped to inspire his troops to such a great defensive performance:

Woeful- P.Ellis

 

Penguins, Argyle, Sofa all hit 30’s 

The Penguins & Busted Sofa both managed to g

“Is this the week argyle get their revenge” posed P.Ellis at the start of this game week- the answer was a resounding no, as Argyle managed a mere 32 points barely keeping touch at the bottom of the table.

Even the transfer happy penguins were goading Argyle’s Manager:

“I’ve made over 40 transfers and joey is still behind me!” – Some funny fuck

A source of continual shame to the Neale-Jennings family

Red Imps

Perhaps inspired by the mighty Burgess Hill, the Red Imps managed a performance that embarrassed all involved; 3 players with nil points, a captain who couldn’t hit a barn door with a banjo- and a face-saving (and team leading) 6 points coming from a Swansea side already on their second manager.

A defeated Bines put on a brave face as he handed out the Dunces Hats to his defeated Imps stating:

“I hate Football, me”

 

Questions for GW10:

Who will be our October Champion? Currently, The Singing Penguins have set the pace for October, but Mackers Masters are only 3 points back- Will it be a fight all the way to Monday evening?

Can Argyle get their season back on track and win his family honour back?

Will the Red Imps continue their slide down the table? Or can their manager’s famous training regime pay dividends?

Penguins Gamble (Finally) pays off

Re-enactment of the Argyle Household

GW8 Table:

 

“Any dream will do…..”

You copying me on Callum Wilson! I dreamt you put him in, and I went mad as he scored a hat trick!

G.Cochrane, Singing Penguins

Greg and his technicolour Dreamcoat

This writer isn’t sure what was more surprising this week; that the Penguins lead the week, they only took a 4 point hit (that makes 60 total, if you’re keeping count), or that their primary strategy was based on a dream….

Whatever it was, it worked and the Penguins have hauled themselves (ed: temporarily, of course, as Argyle are going to roar back) from the bottom of the table, thanks to a league leading 53pts- driven forward by the maverick captain selection Wilson (pictured above) and a rejuvenated Theo Walcott.

Can they keep it up, can the dreamer keep up the goods- or will this be a footnote in the Penguin nightmare?

Solid weeks for Imps & Masters

Unspectacular, but solid- the boys did well. The Imps had a solid team effort with the whole team putting in a very workmanlike performance- damage limitation some might say. Despite their managers assertions that “It’s been a case of blind leading the blind this week for the Impernels” the Imps still closed the gap on TTB and solidifed 2nd place- a good week all round.

Mackers Masters were lead by the magnificent captain performance, leaving their manager celebrating all weekend:

The story of the 30 Point Demise: Argyle, TTB, Hams have shockers…

Tick Tick Boom…?

Failing to fire on all cylinders TTB cannot afford to have too many weeks like this if they want to keep up the pace at the top of the table:

Los Jamones are struggling as injuries are biting in, having to rely on 3 West Brom players in your starting 11 doesn’t sound like a formula for success, even this guy would rather not have to do that:

“I am going to the pub now” – Aguilar reflecting on GW8

 

Argyle’s Revenge… what revenge?

It was a Omnishambles… let’s leave it there, shall we? At least I can look at the League 2 table the right way up still….

 

Week 7: All Change at the top

LETS BE HAVING YOU!

Carol WHO?!

 

A new leader as Tick Tick Boom Climb to the summit

Can Tick Tick Boom be hauled back?

• 70 GW Points
• 6 Benched Points
• Team Value of 102.3
• 29 Points Clear

Not on this form it would seem- TTB carried their manager of the month award for September and used their infamous growth mindset to push to the top of the table, carried by a strong spine of Lukaku, Firmino, Koscielny & Pickford- albeit very lucky to secure 15 points from the Arsenal centre back, as admitted by manager P.Ellis:

Whats lucky about a 93rd minute winner by a central defender handballing it in?

We’ve bought in a special coach to help with the lads mindset. They’ve really brought in to it all and you can see the results.

 

Felled Imps in for extra training

Our long time league leader was furious following a disastrous game week- calling his team away from international break for extra training. TTB Blogs has gained exclusive access to the Imps training ground:

TTB Caught up with a visibly furious J.Bines:

What a complete nightmare. No day off for the impernels tomorrow!

 

Busted Sofa Go Designer:

 

Busted Sofa were looking a bit rosier after GW7- moving up the table to secure the final champions league spot. Johnson was delighted to see his team moving up the league:

Out of the basement and on the way up – Johnson

Jamones, Masters & Argyle have weekends to forget

A disappointing week for Jamones, Masters & Argyle as all three teams were let down by poor captain performances. Epitomised by the horror show at los jamones with one 21 points brought home- as predicted the injuries are biting deep.

Penguins facing 100 point chasm 

Singing Penguin Training Session

56 Points….. 56 Points….. Let me say it again, FIFTY SIX POINTS!!

Cochranes Singing Penguins have sacrificed 56 points on transfers this season- which would be good for 3rd in the league. The mystifying Cochrane however jumped to the penguins defence stating:

Honey g to win the X factor!

Presumably Honey G is another new signing for the international week?

Someone thats on TV or something…?

GW6: Aguero Saves the day as Hungry Jamones dine on Red Imp Slip

Cochrane celebrates Aguero Point Haul

Overall Table

Tick Tick Boom Sets September Pace:

Congratulations to our Manager of the Month P.Ellis:

Jamones show West Ham how its done

Red Imp on a spike sir?

Los Jamones had an amazing week- propelled to the top of the GW scoring thanks to a rampant Liverpool midfield and the one and only Kun Aguero.

Big Raf was showing his delight on the touch line to have the Liverpool pair of Coutinho & Lallana at his disposal:

Red Imps Lead cut to 5

The league leaders this week stumbled- to the delight of their main rivals:

I’d like to thank the burnley keeper for putting the Heat-on The Red Impernels – TICK TICK BOOOM

As the injuries start rolling in- can the red Imps stay ahead? The Imps are now missing out on vital points- it could be the difference maker for September?

Busted Sofa Slip into Argyles Reach

Busted Sofa must be alarmed that they have slipped down the table yet again as their big hitters misfired for the week- only Sanchez & Aguero saving them from an falling to the relegation battle. Argyle will be hoping to finally move out of the bottom two in the next week- only a 5 point gap now separates the two sleeping giants.

Masters Resurgence Continues

A strongly differentiated Masters rode up the table on the back of Rashford’s goal scoring antics- perhaps most worrying for the rest of the group is that Mackers Master had 13 points left of the bench- can anyone stop their rise up the table?

Big Sam

Alledicci Celebrating 100% England Record